TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains conversations regarding self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and suicide.

The Trauma Bond. It's hard to see the forest for the trees when you're in the middle of a constant emotional onslaught. That is Quinn's story, our guest on today's Bitch Is A Bad Word: Bitch Sesh. Like many of us, Quinn didn't know she was in an abusive marriage, being torn in so many directions she didn't know what was up until after the divorce, when she could put some distance between she and her ex, with reflection.

Quinn's story is important for all of us because when you're standing in the middle of a battlefield, being assaulted constantly on all sides, it's almost impossible to tell where you stand and what's really going on. However, if you're able to pull yourself out, place yourself on a hill above the fray, you can see what's really happening below. And that is what we want to help you recognize if you are or find yourself in Quinn's relationship.

All abusers use different tactics to control and Quinn's ex used emotional manipulation.  He would use tactics to draw her in, such as love bombing, "randomly" bumping into her (when he was really stalking), and coming up with excuses to see her when separated ("I'm dropping off food for you and the kids"), that would become prolonged engagements that evolved into excuses why he shouldn't or couldn't leave. And when Quinn pushed him away too hard, her ex would become violent with financial threats, harm to her and the kids, and suicide. It was a constant emotional rollercoaster, meant to draw her in and keep her attached to him with ebbs and flows of kindness and love that turned into threats, coercion, and control, and back again.

Listening to Quinn's story helps us identify these tactics used in our own relationships, either ones used against us or ones we may use ourselves, so when we're in the thick of it, that memory of listening to her story will cause that lightbulb go off in our heads and we realize what's really going on, helping us break the cycle of domestic abuse and domestic violence.

Need Help?

If you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org.

ABOUT QUINN

Quinn Padilla is a licensed therapist, abuse recovery coach, and mother of three who brings both her personal journey as an abuse survivor and her professional expertise to the work she does. Through her practice, she helps women heal from abuse and post-separation abuse, blending education with practical tools for recovery. Quinn also shares accessible guidance and support through Instagram and TikTok as @itsquinnpadilla, reaching women across the world with resources to help them feel seen and empowered. She is the creator of Breaking the Trauma Bond, a course designed to help women understand the cycle of abuse, regulate their nervous systems, and break free from trauma bonds. Learn more about her course through her bio on Instagram or to work with her one on one visit www.itsquinnpadilla.com. 

emotional abuse, gaslighting, psychological manipulation, domestic abuse, domestic violence, narcissist

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